Dance With The Devil
by HowCouldThisHappenToMe
Summary: He was gone and dead. But now Amy sees him everywhere she goes. Is she losing her mind? Or is it something else? Sequel to "Beautiful Disaster".
1. Chapter 1

**Well, I'm back with a new story. This is what I've taken to calling the 'dark sequel' to "Beautiful Disaster". I've been having a great bit of fun writing this, and I finally was able to finish it. So, expect to be seeing some regular updates on this story (so long as I can remember them). I hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT or any of its characters. I have Amy and Gage. Chris Nova belongs to Solaris Prime.**

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><p>"<em>Amy… I'm sorry."<em>

"_Will I see you again?"_

"_Turn around."_

Amelia Hamato's eyes snapped open and she was met by darkness. Light snoring beside her reminded her she was perfectly safe; in the room she shared Gage Turner. She slowly sat up in bed, resting a hand on her forehead before slipping out from under the covers and walking to the kitchen. She filled a glass with water from the tap and gulped it down, cringing when the glass clinked when she placed it in the sink. With a heavy sigh, she leaned against the counter and stared out the window of their apartment. That was the tenth night in a row she'd had that dream, where she saw her deceased brother again. It was bad enough she still thought she heard him, but two years after his death? That was just ridiculous.

And still, Amy couldn't help but feel as though it wasn't as ridiculous as she told herself. She had seen and felt him a year ago, when she was captured by Agent Bishop and Baxter Stockman. She was given his other blade, something she couldn't have possibly obtained if he wasn't real. She still kept both of them with her. Chris saved her life that night, and she couldn't help but believe he was still alive out there, somewhere. But why he hadn't shown himself to her or their family was anybody's guess. Amy sighed heavily as she made her way back into the bedroom, sliding into bed without a sound. Sadly, stealth is difficult to accomplish when one's bedmate has also been trained as a ninja.

"Amy?" Gage asked groggily, sitting up in bed. "It's four in the morning. Is everything okay?" Amy shook her head, though she wondered if Gage could see her in the darkness. She didn't doubt it.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry. Just a bad dream," she answered easily. Gage's hand rested on her shoulder, as though he was still concerned.

"You've been having a bad dream every night for almost two weeks now." Amy frowned and wondered why Gage hadn't said anything before now if he'd known about her getting up in the middle of the night.

"It's nothing. Go back to sleep. My family's visiting tomorrow."

"Remind me again why we gave Michelangelo permission to plan our wedding," Gage said with a chuckle as he leaned back and pulled the blanket over himself again. Amy did the same, but found she couldn't sleep. She couldn't close her eyes without being plagued by visions of a man who _should_ be dead. With a feeling of longing in her chest that hadn't disappeared in two years, Amelia closed her eyes and tried to sleep.

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><p>Later in the morning, Amy and Gage were busy preparing their apartment for Amelia's family to visit. While most couples would be spending their morning scrubbing the floors to impress the future in-laws, their preparations included ensuring the window by the fire escape was unlocked while all other windows were shielded from prying eyes. It wasn't that Amelia was embarrassed of her family; far from it. The problem was that the neighbors would call every number imaginable if they saw four giant mutated turtles, a rat and a salamander.<p>

"You didn't have to pretty the place up for us," a tenor voice with a surfer tone said from behind Amy as she finished wiping down the kitchen counter. She didn't bat an eye and simply finished with her task before turning around and hugging the turtle wearing an orange eye mask.

"I heard you open the window, Mikey. Good to see you," she answered with a smile. Amy caught a glimpse of a face in the window and her smile faltered, but it was gone before she could blink. She could've sworn she saw Chris.

"You okay, Amy?" She turned her attention back to the youngest of her older brothers and simply shook her head.

"Yeah. Just a little tired, that's all. Is everyone else in the living room?"

"Duh. You know, you really should learn how to be a better hostess."

Amy rolled her eyes as she walked to the living room with Michelangelo. She was greeted by the faces she was raised with, as well as a face that recently returned to her life. Along with her brothers and surrogate father, there was a mutated green salamander known as Mona Lisa. She'd returned to New York City just over a year ago and had become like a sister to Amy.

"There's the bride-to-be!" Mona exclaimed as she came forward to hug the woman in question.

"It's good to see you guys," Amy said. "Do you want anything? We're ordering pizza later."

"We're fine, Amy. We were just talking to Gage about what you guys are planning for the wedding," Donatello answered.

"Hey! I'm the planner here!" Mikey yelled. A low chuckle echoed in Amy's ears and she turned to see who it was. To her disappointment, nobody was there. She quickly turned her attention back to her family.

"Amelia," her father and teacher said, his sage-like voice commanding the attention of everyone in the room. Amy bowed her head to him.

"Yes, Master Splinter," she answered.

"This is a joyous time for you, but why does such sadness linger in your eyes?"

Amy shook her head quickly, prepared to give him the same answered she'd given Michelangelo. "I've just been having trouble sleeping. It's nothing to worry about. I'm glad you could come out and visit. We have so much to talk about and plan for the wedding and I want you all to be a… part of it…" Her voice trailed off as she saw a shadow on the window shades from outside.

"Amy?" Gage asked, looking his fiancée over curiously.

Amelia quickly crossed the living room and pulled the curtain to the side. The shadow was gone, but she could see a figure fleetingly out of the corner of her eye. She blinked twice, questioning whether or not her mind was playing tricks on her. She couldn't possibly be seeing _him_, could she? After all, she hadn't encountered him since her rescue a year ago.

Before she could question herself further, Amy was already climbing out the window and running down the fire escape to chase after the fleeting image of Christopher Nova. She could hear her brothers yelling after her, but they couldn't follow her without risking exposure in broad daylight. Amy's shoes pounded on the concrete as she weaved her way through the alleys and people in her chase.

"Chris! Wait!" she yelled.

She could only catch glimpses of the man—the top of his head over a crowd, his shoulder as he rounded a corner—but she knew she was following her brother. He may have been great at stealth, but that didn't mean she couldn't see him now. The figure brought her to the park, through the trees and to a clearing with a single stone marker. Amelia stopped short, no longer seeing her brother. Her gaze fell on the memorial stone that stated Christopher Nova's name and his lifespan.

"Amy, what are you doing?" Gage's voice demanded from nowhere. She jumped, resting a hand over her heart, and turned to look at him. The worry in his eyes was clear, but Amy couldn't seem to see it. Instead, she turned back to the memorial stone and fell to her knees with tears in her eyes.

"I saw him. I know I did." Gage's hands rested on her shoulders and he pulled her into a gentle embrace.

"Amy… we should go home."

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><p><strong>I hope you've enjoyed the first chapter. Please R&amp;R.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY to my fellow Americans. :D**

**Well, I will be updating this story every Monday. With any luck, I'll be able to keep to that schedule I've set for myself. I hope you enjoy the second chapter of "Dance With The Devil".**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT or any of its characters. I only have Amy and Gage. Chris Nova belongs to Solaris Prime.  
><strong>

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><p>The faces that surrounded Amelia as she sat in her living room were all concerned. No, they weren't just concerned; they were fearful. Nothing Amy had said yet could calm them, and she doubted anything she said now would be helpful. Her fiancée was seated beside her with one arm draped over her shoulders, as though she needed the support. A year ago, she would have been offended, but now understood that was just how Gage was.<p>

"Amy," Leonardo began, his voice quiet.

"How many times do I have to tell you guys that I'm fine?" she asked before he could continue.

"You just ran out the window to follow nobody."

"It wasn't nobody. It was…" She stopped herself when she realized what she was about to say.

"Who was it, Amy?" Donatello asked.

"Don't look at me like that, Donny. There's nothing wrong with me, alright?"

"Was it Chris?" Amy scowled and glanced away from her genius brother. That gave him all the answer he needed.

"Amy, he's not here. He's been dead for two years now."

"You think I don't know that?" she snapped.

"Then why is it you still believe? Why did you chase after him if you know he's gone?"

Amy held her head in her hands, sighing through gritted teeth. "I don't know. Is it so wrong for me to wish he was alive?"

"We all wish 'e was alive," Raphael answered gruffly. "But we don't chase afta 'im." A glare from Leonardo was directed at the red-clad turtle.

"What Raph means is that we're worried about you," he said pointedly. "We just don't want you to keep hurting."

"Who says I'm hurting?" Amelia retorted. "You're talking like I'm a head-case. There's absolutely nothing wrong with me. My mind is as sharp as ever, even better than when I was a teenager. What's wrong with grieving?"

"Do you dream or do you grieve? Amy, it's been two years."

"I know, Leo. He died two weeks after my birthday. There's no way I could possibly forget."

"You've got to let him go." Amelia shook her head and shrugged Gage's arm off of her shoulders. She stood abruptly, glaring at her eldest brother with tears stinging her eyes. She couldn't remember the last time she was this angry with Leo.

"Easy for you to say," she snapped before turning on her heel and heading into the bathroom. As the door shut behind her, the others could hear the faucet running loudly. They figured she was washing her face to rid herself of the tears; she always hated crying. A heavy sigh came from Leonardo as he sat on the couch.

"We're sorry for the intervention in the living room, Gage," Donatello apologized. The young man simply shook his head, his gaze turning to the bathroom door for an instant.

"It's alright. I just want to help her. She's been acting weird for a couple months now. Just recently she's been waking up in the middle of the night. She says they're just bad dreams, but I think there's something else bothering her."

"So she hasn't talked to you about Chris or anything?" Mona Lisa asked.

"No. She doesn't talk about Chris at all, but that doesn't surprise me, since you guys told me she didn't really talk about him much after he passed away." A silence fell over the room and Gage realized the water was still running in the bathroom sink. His brows furrowed slightly and he stood from where he was seated.

"What's up?" Mikey asked. Gage held a finger to his lips and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Amy? Are you okay?" he asked. There was no response. He tried the handle, finding that it was unlocked, and opened the door. The room was empty and the curtains were blowing in the breeze. A sigh escaped Gage's lips as he turned off the faucet and leaned in the entryway.

"You _still_ lose her?"

"I know where she is, but she wants to be alone. It's best if we wait for her to come back on her own."

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><p>Amelia seated herself before the memorial stone in the park, lighting a stick of incense next to it, and rested a hand on the cool granite slab. Her emotions were everywhere, and she was confused. She was angry at her brothers for telling her to let go of Chris. How could she just<em> let go<em>? She couldn't, not when she still believed he was alive somewhere. But that left her to ask how that could be.

"Riddle me this, Chris. How can I still see you when I am the one who watched while you died?"

There was no response, not that Amy particularly expected there to be one. While she believed Chris was alive, she didn't think he was constantly following her around. Besides, he wouldn't be foolish enough to respond to her questions if he wanted to hide. But then, why would he want to be hiding from her? What possible reason could he have for staying away from his family?

Amy remained in the park for hours, talking to Chris' memorial stone. Part of her hoped he was listening nearby, so he would know how she was doing, and would know that she wanted him to come home. He would be twenty-one now, just like her. He should be starting his life as an adult, not that he hadn't always been mature for his age anyway. Amy used to think of Chris as an adult in a child's body when they were younger, though she would never say such a thing aloud. She knew better than to say something like that, considering how broken Chris had been when they found him as a child. In fact, the day Chris disappeared was the day Amy found out what had happened to his parents, how they were killed by the Shredder.

She quickly shook her head, clearing her thoughts of that day. She didn't want to remember his disappearance now. She wanted answers. How did Chris come back? Where had he been the past two years? Where was he now? How had he known Amy was in danger a year ago, when she'd been captured by Stockman and Bishop? Why did he only show himself in that one moment?

With a heavy sigh, Amy looked down at her watch and realized just how long she'd been gone. Her family and Gage would be worried about her by now, she was sure. She was actually surprised they hadn't come looking for her yet. Then again, she mused, Gage had learned at this point that she liked to have some time to herself every once in a while. He was probably trying to respect her boundaries. He really was a good man, Amy knew. He didn't deserve for her to be running off on him like this all the time. Amy stood and dusted the dirt from her jeans, casting one final glance at the polished granite stone before turning to walk home.

"I'll come by again soon, Chris," she said. "I still miss you."

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><p><strong>Please R&amp;R.<br>**


	3. Chapter 3

**Alright. Here is the latest update of "Dance With The Devil". I hope you enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT or any of its characters. I only have Amy and Gage. Chris Nova (wherever he may be) belongs to Solaris Prime.  
><strong>

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><p>"You want me to <em>what<em>?" Amelia demanded, her voice reverberating through the sewers of New York City. It had been a week since her last visit to Christopher's memorial stone, and she and Gage were now in the lair after having been called down by her family.

"We're just concerned," Donatello reasoned.

"There's a difference between being concerned and controlling. I don't need to see a shrink. I told you guys, I'm not a head-case."

"We're not saying you are. We just think it would be best if you talk to someone about Chris, and since you won't talk to any of us, there's no other choice," Leo answered. "You won't even talk to Gage, and you're marrying him."

"What am I supposed to say, Leo? I told Gage about Chris' death, just like I told you guys."

"We know you didn't tell us everything that happened. And you don't have to tell us, but you need to talk to someone."

"Right, and you think talking to a shrink will help? Newsflash, Leo, I don't exactly have a normal life. I was raised in the sewers with four turtles by a mutated rat. We fought an evil organization for years. My brother was killed by some magic crap that I can't even explain. And to top it all off, my fiancée was part of the evil organization that tried to kill us on multiple occasions. I wonder how anyone I talk to would take that."

"We've already considered that," Donny answered.

"And you're not concerned about being found out by the outside world?"

"Your mental health is more important."

"Right. Fix my issues about one brother at the cost of losing the rest of my family. Wonderful logic, Don," Amy retorted, her voice dripping with sarcasm. Gage grabbed her arm gently, looking into her eyes.

"You need closure, Amy," he whispered.

"What I _need_ is for people to stop telling me what to do with my life. My brother _died_ right before my eyes."

"We understand that, Amy. We know how you feel," Mikey answered. Amelia scoffed and rolled her eyes at the statement.

"No, you don't. You don't know. You guys say that's you're hurting, but it sure doesn't show!" Her hands were clenched into fists at her sides as she yelled at her older brothers for the first time in years. Never before had they had an argument this big. Then again, they'd also never been in a situation like this before.

"We didn't want to upset you," Leo responded.

"Upset me? What could you guys have possibly said that would upset me any further? There was a time when tomorrow would terrify me, but I knew I'd die if I looked back. You don't know what it's like to live that way!"

"Why didn't you say anything about this before?"

"Because I didn't want you to worry about me. There was already so much going on when Chris disappeared. Then you guys became human for a while. None of us had time for me to have issues. Now, it's just another day of feeling like this feeling never goes away."

"Amy…"

"Don't look so sympathetic, Leo. You have _no idea_ how I've felt, so please don't pretend you do." She then turned her attention back to Gage. "And you certainly aren't in any position to be telling me to let go of my brother. You didn't even know him."

"Calm down, Ame," Raph ordered. Amy's eyes widened slightly as she realized how odd it was to be hearing Raphael, of all people, tell her to calm down. He was the biggest hot-head out of anyone she knew.

"My daughter, we are your family. We only wish to bring you at ease," Splinter said calmly. His voice soothed her temper, an effect he'd always had on her. Amy took a deep breath to steady herself. Gage's hands rested on her shoulders again, and she didn't pull away this time. His arms wrapped around her and she simply leaned into him.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. "I shouldn't take it out on you guys. But I'm not going to see a so-called professional. They're just going to try to put me on medication that will make me numb, and I can't afford that, not with what we've faced in the past."

"Amy," Mona began.

"I'm done discussing it. I've made up my mind and I'm not going to restrict my ability to notice the world around me."

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><p><strong>Please R&amp;R.<br>**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'll be totally honest, I nearly forgot to update today. lol. But, I DID remember to in the end, so it's all good. Anyway, here is another chapter of Amy's latest, uh, issue, I guess we'll say.  
><strong>

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><p>Three days later, Amy was working in April's antique shop, repairing an old radio that had been brought in an hour earlier. It was a relatively simple fix, only made difficult by the tiny parts she needed to work around. If she knocked anything loose, it would make the repair even more time consuming. While she loved working with antique radios like this, she hated how long they took sometimes. She needed to get this done so she and Gage could go out to dinner.<p>

"Looking good, Amy," Don said over the intercom system they had hooked up from the shop to the lair. He was watching her work via a security camera positioned just behind her. With a little zooming, he could see everything as though he were really there looking over her shoulder.

"This one's easy, compared to that monstrosity we got last month. I didn't know a computer could be that close to frying without being busted for good," she answered with a chuckle. Amy placed the final piece in place and withdrew her tweezers from the wooden box. After closing it back up, she turned the radio on and grinned proudly when a station came in clearly through the speakers.

"A perfect fix. Go ahead and call them back for pickup tomorrow. I know you and Gage have plans."

Amy checked her watch. "That we'll be late for if I don't get home now. See ya later, Donny!"

She ran out of the shop, making sure to lock the door behind her, and rounded the corner. The sun was setting in the sky, though that didn't matter much as far as the light around her was concerned. The artificial light from the nearby buildings offered more than enough illumination. Amy felt perfectly safe walking home alone, even given the situations she'd found herself in the midst of in the past. As she saw it, the people who could actually do harm to her would find her day or night. No need to be concerned more in the evening than the morning. Besides, she always kept her tessen on hand, as well as occasionally carrying the blades that Chris had left behind for her.

"_I don't need to see you to know you're strong and beautiful."_

Amy stopped dead in her tracks, the voice of her gone brother echoing in her mind again. It was what he had said the last time she'd encountered him, when he'd saved her from Bishop and Stockman. She knew she wasn't really hearing him, but she wondered why she'd remembered those words at that moment. Why did they haunt her? Why did _he_ haunt her? She quickly ducked into the alley beside her apartment and climbed up the fire escape, stopping when she got to the window to her living room. She didn't enter the apartment just yet. She needed to sit and think.

Mind racing, Amelia sat on the edge of the fire escape and rested her head in her hands. The last thing she needed to be doing was thinking about that encounter now. She and Gage had plans for dinner, something normal for once in her life. Was it really so wrong to want a little normalcy? She couldn't have him worrying about her the whole evening like he and her family had been.

"_What happened to the Amelia I knew, huh? She'd never just give up."_

"Shut up," she growled at no one in particular. She was the only one there. God, why did she have to start falling apart now?

"Stand up, Ame," Chris' voice commanded. But it was different now, so much clearer than just a moment before. No longer were the words reverberating within her skull, but the walls around her. Amy's head snapped up and she glanced frantically around where she was sitting, seeing nothing but the bricks and wires that hung between her building and the next.

"Amy? What are you doing out here?" Gage asked from behind and the young woman turned her head to see him leaning out the open window.

"Just… thinking," she answered softly. She didn't waste any time in getting up and climbing into the living room through the window, stealing a kiss from her fiancée before heading for the bedroom to change her clothes.

"What were you thinking about?" Gage asked through the door.

Amy figured he was probably leaning against the wall next to the entryway; he was casual like that. She also knew he wasn't expecting her to answer and wouldn't pick a fight if she didn't. Gage knew how Amy was, how she didn't always like talking about her feelings. Sure, there were moments when she would be all sweet and emotional, but she typically liked to be like Raph. But she knew their relationship could only work if she was willing to talk to him every once in a while. Now was as good a time as any.

"Chris."

"Oh."

"You don't need to worry, Gage. I was just working through some conflictions I've been having for two years. About time, right?" Amy's tone was light, to keep Gage from becoming overly concerned, even though what she'd just said was nothing more than a lie to comfort him. Note to self, she thought, lying is bad for relationship skills. Pushing the thought into the back of her mind for the time being, Amy opened the bedroom door, revealing herself in a lovely black dress that reached her knees. It was simple, but elegant; exactly the kind of thing Gage loved to see her in. She enjoyed wearing it on nights like this, too, so it worked out well. "Ready to go?"

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><p>Sitting in the restaurant where they had their first date, Amy couldn't help but feel a bit nostalgic. It was only about a year and a half ago, but that was the start of some of the happiest times she'd had, especially after Chris' disappearance. She quickly pushed that thought aside for the time being, though. Not the time or place.<p>

"I hope you know I'm still never going to let you order for me ever again," she said with a chuckle, recalling the turtle soup she accidentally eaten—and subsequently rejected—on their first date. Gage laughed along with her.

"I'm just thankful you gave me another chance after that incident," he answered.

"Only because I hadn't known you were leading those Foot ninjas that nearly severed Raph's arm. If I'd known that, I probably would've killed you the first chance I got."

"And I don't think I'd be able to blame you. I know how you are with them."

"Really close?"

"Try overprotective. Which is kind of funny, since you're the youngest. But they're all overprotective of you, so it balances out pretty well."

"Of course we're insanely protective over each other. I have to make sure nobody ever finds out about them, at least, not anybody that can bring them any harm… or try to dissect them. Same difference. And they've always taken care of me because I'm their little sister. Chris was the same way. He wouldn't let _anything_ happen to me, and would die for me."

"Amy, can I ask you something without you getting angry at me?"

Amelia's brow furrowed slightly. "I can't guarantee I won't get mad, but I'll try. Go ahead."

"You didn't talk about Chris much for the past year and a half. You told me about him when you brought me to his memorial stone, and you mentioned him every once in a while after that thing with Stockman and Bishop, but that was it. Now, he seems to always be on your mind. I'm just wondering why?" Gage asked and Amy bit her tongue to hold back a defensive retort. After a moment, she found words for his answer.

"Honestly, I'm not sure why he's on my mind so much lately. He's just… there. I mean, Chris has always been in the back of my mind. Now, he's just come to the forefront. I don't know why."

"Is that what you were thinking about earlier?"

"A bit," Amy answered simply as she speared her fork into a piece of grilled chicken on her plate. As she glanced up at Gage, she noticed something over his shoulder and her brow furrowed again. There, through the window of the restaurant, Amy could swear she saw Chris walking by, locking eyes with her as he did. Noticing her stare, Gage checked over his shoulder, but turned back around when he saw nothing.

"Amy?" he asked.

"It's nothing."

"You saw him again, didn't you?" His tone was more accusing than Amy would've liked.

"Don't worry about it, Gage." Her voice was colder than it should have been.

"Why do you keep looking for him, Amy? I know he's the one you wish would appear, but he's not here. I'm here."

"You think I don't know that?" Amy hissed.

"Why won't you talk to me? Or your brothers? Or Mona Lisa? Or April? Hell, even Casey would be better than nothing."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Like hell there's not," Gage retorted. Amelia glared at him.

"I think is a conversation better suited elsewhere. Like a training ground."

Gage clearly read the threat as the frown on his lips deepened. Regardless, he pulled out his wallet and left to pay for their meal at the hostess' podium. When he returned, he wordlessly handed Amy her coat and escorted her out. Ever the gentleman, he didn't allow his frustration with her get the best of his actions. Amy had to commend him on that, and respected him for it.

"We're not finished talking," Gage growled under his breath as the two of them walked out the front door of the restaurant. That was something Amy could agree with him on. This was _far_ from over.

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><p><strong>Well, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please R&amp;R.<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**I feel like it's been a while since I last updated, though I know I did it last Monday... it must just be because I've been updating my Avatar story like crazy. Hahaha! Anyway, here is the latest chapter in Amy's tale. I hope you enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT or any of its characters. Amy and Gage are mine. Chris Nova belongs to Solaris Prime.  
><strong>

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><p>The sounds inside the apartment Gage and Amelia shared were far from harmonious. Had they not previously sound-proofed the walls—in the event their enemies found them and started a fight in their home—one would have been able to hear yelling and frustrated groans. Not a thing in the living room was moved, something Amy could be thankful for, even as she snapped at her spouse. Despite the violent backgrounds of the both of them, they never laid a finger on each other.<p>

"I told you, Gage! I don't need to talk to some idiot with some fancy paperwork! A shrink isn't going to help me with _anything_!" Amelia yelled from where she stood by the couch. Gage was across the room, in front of the window. It was to keep her from running off, Amy figured. Not that she was going to back down. She was too stubborn for that. It came from growing up with Raph, Leo and Chris. Gage shook his head, as though he couldn't believe what Amy was saying.

"Can you tell me what it is you're afraid of?" he asked.

"I'm not afraid!"

"Don't give me that, Amy. I know you too well for that."

"Apparently not well enough!"

"Then what's going on with you? Are you hurting? Are you bruised? Are you broken? Well, so am I!" Amy sighed through gritted teeth, mentally exhausted. This had been going on for over an hour now, with Gage continually asking Amy what she feared about seeing a psychologist. It wasn't that she was afraid, she reasoned.

"I'm not," she whispered as she slumped onto couch. "I'm not afraid of some pencil pusher."

"Then what is it? Why won't you talk?"

"What if I say the wrong thing? What if I lose you? Or my brothers and Splinter?" Gage's eyes widened significantly and crossed the room in a matter of seconds. He was beside his fiancée with his arms around her before it even had a chance to completely register in his mind.

"Amy, you know I won't walk away."

"You say that right here, but then give it a year, or ten years, or a life. I mean… I'm so sure Chris is out there somewhere. But what if I _am _wrong? What if I really am losing my mind? You don't want to live with that."

"I'm holding on and I won't let you go, Amy," Gage answered softly. "If you think I don't care, then you just don't know who I am." Amy laughed in spite of herself.

"Gage…"

"Please, tell me how to help you. Tell me what to do, and I'll do it. Tell who to be, and I will."

"There's nothing you can do for me, Gage. That's just the thing."

"Then just give this thing with the psych a chance. I want you to be happy."

Amy sighed heavily, head in her hands again. "Okay. Fine. I'll try."

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><p>"It's a pleasure to meet you Miss Splinterson. My name is Dr. Jonas Fogg. I hear you're engaged to be married," a doctor with handsome, normal-looking features said as he introduced himself. It was Amelia's first meeting with this doctor, and she figured this man took a laid-back appearance as a way to connect with his patients. She hated being thought of as a patient of this man.<p>

"That's right. Gage and I met a year and a half ago," she answered pleasantly.

"That's a short time. Marrying so soon?"

"I'm happy with Gage. He understands me in a way most men could never. I'm in love with him. Please don't question my relationship with him."

"Does it bother you?"

"Only because I know you're trying to figure out what's 'wrong' with me, and the first thing to look at is my relationship with Gage or my family relationships."

"I don't believe there is something wrong with you."

"What do you think? Gage has no doubt told you what's been going on with me."

"No, I haven't heard. What _has_ been going on?"

"This is the part where I pour out my heart and soul in some teary mess, right?" Amy asked rhetorically. "I'm supposed to tell you everything that has been bothering me, and you'll be able to figure out what's behind it all."

"That's not my intention for today's session. I just want to get to know who you are. Who is Amelia? What has her life been like? Who is she closest to?"

"My name is Amelia Splinterson. I grew up in a family of fighters. In my family, I am closest to my brother Raphael. Outside my family, I'm closest, obviously, to Gage. And, once upon a time, I was closest to another brother, Chris."

"Why aren't you close to him anymore?" Dr. Fogg asked.

"He's not around anymore."

"Did he die?"

"Now isn't that the question of the year?" Amy muttered.

"I'm not sure I follow."

"Something happened a couple years ago. It appeared as though Chris disappeared, but I'm not so certain."

"Do you see him?"

"On occasion, but it's more than that. Something else happened. Chris saved my life."

"After his disappearance?"

"Yeah. And I know it was him. He gave me something only he could have."

"And what's that?"

"My family was taught martial arts, and Chris used a pair of blades. I had one when he disappeared. And when he saved my life, he gave me the other one."

"Is it possible someone else had blades similar to his?"

"Not at all. Those blades were barely more than scrap metal when we found them. Chris and I weighted them ourselves. I could never forget them."

"It sounds like you were extremely close to Chris."

"He was my best friend. He was adopted into the family, but then, so was I. My four oldest brothers are the only ones who are biologically related, and they're not even related to our father."

"You grew up as an adoptive child?"

"Yeah. And I loved every minute of it. From the time I was four years old, they were my family and I loved them. Then, a few years later, Chris came into our family too. He was just under a year older than me."

"Do you miss him?"

"A little more every day."

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><p><strong>Please R&amp;R.<br>**


	6. Chapter 6

**Well, here we go with yet another chapter. I hope you enjoy it... if there's anyone even reading this story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT or any of its characters. Chris Nova belongs to Solaris Prime. Amy and Gage are mine.  
><strong>

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><p>Two months had passed since Amelia's first appointment with Dr. Fogg. The treatment seemed to be working, as he'd agreed not to put her on a medication regimen. Though the psychologist didn't know the full extent of Amy's story—she was always careful and guarded with her words—he could understand her insistence on refusing drugs. Natural solutions only, she'd said, and he was more than happy to comply. That was one of the reasons Gage had gone to him to help Amy.<p>

"And how are you feeling today?" Dr. Fogg asked during their most recent meeting.

"Same as usual," Amelia answered simply. "I'm not a complicated person, Doc. I'm content with my life as it is."

"That's good to hear. Are you excited about the wedding drawing nearer?"

"Of course. Mikey's been planning everything down to the last detail. He loves this kind of stuff."

"And have you been noticing anything unusual happening lately?"

"You mean, have I been seeing Chris around."

"If you'd like to word it like that."

"Well, I haven't seen him lately. In fact, I haven't seen or heard him since our first meeting."

"Does that concern you at all?"

"A little, but only because it makes me wonder if it was all in my mind after all."

"You know, Amy, it's not unusual for people in grief to imagine their loved ones are still with them."

Amy sighed heavily. "Then why did he disappear all of a sudden? Was it just because I talked about how much I miss him? How can that possibly have an effect on how much I grieve?"

"Perhaps our conversation at our first meeting gave you what you needed to finally begin coping?"

"Who the hell even knows anymore? My brothers seemed to move on pretty easily. Maybe I'm just the odd one out. Maybe I can't cope."

"I doubt you're incapable of coping. I'm sure you just need more time than your brothers. Is all going well between you and them lately?"

"It's going great. We're the perfect, loving family. And if anyone says we're not, then screw 'em," Amelia answered, eliciting a chuckle from Dr. Fogg.

"That's a powerful statement," he said.

"Can you blame me? We protect each other. Always have, always will."

"Why do you have to protect each other?"

"Just because we're the perfect, loving family doesn't mean we didn't have enemies. How do you think we lost Chris?" Amelia glanced up at the clock, seeing that their session was nearly over, and reached for her bag. "Looks like our time's up."

"Very well. I'll see you again next week, Amelia."

"Same time, same place," she answered, giving a half-hearted wave as she stepped out of his office.

Amelia exited the office building, finding herself on the familiar bustling street it was located on. Taking a left, she briskly walked towards April and Casey's apartment, where she'd be meeting them, her family and Gage for dinner. After the first three sessions, Gage had taken to _not_ picking up Amy when she was done. The talks usually helped, but left her wanting to burn of a little steam afterwards. The walk home was a good thing for her, and less of a hazard to Gage. As she finally came to the front door of April and Casey's apartment, she straightened her jacket and knocked. The door flew open and she was greeted by the smiling face of April O'Neil-Jones, as well as a hug from the red-head.

"Good to see you, Amy. Come on in," April said as she took Amelia's jacket and bag. "How was your day?"

"Good. Fixed up a couple DVD players in the shop, but nothing special," Amy answered with a gentle smile.

"Well, I was just finishing up dinner, and fighting Mikey out of the kitchen."

"Oh, well, let me help you set the table and everything."

"Amy, you're our guest. Go sit in the living room with the guys." As April shoved the younger woman into the living room, Amy noticed Casey and Raphael were nowhere to be seen. She cocked an eyebrow as she glanced around the room for them.

"Sparring on the roof," Leo supplied, seeing the perplexed look on his sister's face.

"Are they having a bromance?" she asked with a giggle.

"I wouldn't doubt it," Gage answered. He wrapped his arms around Amy from behind and kissed her cheek. "How was it?"

"Same old, same old." There was a shrug, but nothing to indicate she was unhappy. In truth, Amy had started to grow accustomed to those doctor's visits. She wasn't particularly happy about them, but they kept her to a schedule of sorts. It was something almost normal… if it wasn't a shrink she was seeing every Wednesday afternoon.

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><p><strong>I know this was kind of a short chapter, but I thought it would be a good idea to put in a bit of 'a day in the life' before I got into the big stuff. Call it a breather chapter, if you'd like. lol.<strong>

**Please R&R.  
><strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Here's another chapter for you guys. This one is going to get a little bit more into all the wonky stuff that is going on with Amy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT or any of its characters. Chris Nova belongs to Solaris Prime. Amy and Gage are mine.  
><strong>

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><p>"<em>Amy… I'm sorry."<em>

Amelia's eyes snapped open and she was met by the darkness of her room. Glancing at the clock, she saw that it was two in the morning. Silently, she shifted the comforter off her body and slipped out of the bedroom without Gage stirring. She figured he'd be awake by the time she returned, but that was nothing new. Instead of walking to the kitchen for a glass of water, like she normally would have done, Amy was compelled to the window in the living room that led out to the fire escape. She rationalized it by saying the fresh air would do her some good.

She opened the window and stepped out into the chilly night air, the metal grating of the fire escape digging into the soles of her feet. Amy could hear the sounds of the city, even at this late hour. New York was the city that never slept, after all. With nothing to ward off the breeze but a thin night gown—something she'd _never_ thought she'd wear after the age of ten—Amy began climbing up the fire escape to the roof of her apartment building. As she stood atop the building, she stared out at the horizon and admired the light glow of the city. It was comforting to her.

"Ame," an all-too-familiar voice whispered from behind her.

Amelia whirled around to see Christopher Nova standing only a few feet away, looking just like he always had; he was just older now. Amy shook her head slowly as she took a step back, her eyes wide. This couldn't be happening, she told herself. Chris was dead, and that was it. It had taken three months of visits with Dr. Fogg, but she'd finally come to the realization that Chris simply couldn't have survived that battle with the Shredder. And yet, here he was again, standing right in front of her. Whenever he appeared, it wasn't clear if he was a simple spirit or flesh and blood.

"No… this isn't happening," Amy murmured, pressing a hand to her forehead. "It's just my mind playing tricks on me again."

"No, it's not. I'm more than a memory. Come closer, Ame."

"Y-you stay away from me. Who the hell are you?"

"You know me. Amy, I'm so sorry for staying away for so long, but… I'm alive. I never died."

"Shut up! You're lying! Chris _died_ in that fight with the Shredder! He's been dead two years. Now who the hell are you?"

"I'll tell you the truth if you'll let me."

"No! I… I don't want to hear another word out of you. Stay the hell away from me! Go away!" Amy cried, running for the fire escape. The metal grating dug into her feet, but she didn't care as she bounded down the steps to her apartment window. Once inside the living room, she slammed the window closed, her breath coming out in heaving sobs.

"Amy? What's the matter? What happened?" Gage asked as he ran into the room. He knelt beside his fiancée, taking her into his arms as she sobbed.

"I've lost my mind. I really _have_ lost my mind."

* * *

><p>Christopher Nova stared after Amelia as she ran down the fire escape, disappearing behind the ledge of the building. He didn't follow after her. He'd heard her loud and clear. She was angry at him. She'd always gone into a bit of denial when she was angry. Her natural reaction when she was told something she didn't want to hear was to vocally deny it. Of course, she'd realize it was the truth, but that didn't mean she would like it.<p>

And then there was the matter of her telling him to go away. Chris figured he should have expected it, really. She was angry at him for disappearing for two years, not that he could blame her. He'd be pretty mad at himself too. But it's not like he could have gone back and everything would be normal again. By the time he got back to New York, it had been nearly a year and they had likely moved on. Besides, Amy was getting married now. He couldn't just waltz back into her life and expect things to be like they were. That was why he'd stayed away. But with the struggles Amy was having, he couldn't just let her suffer. That was why he'd shown himself tonight.

"I really messed up this time," Chris muttered as he heard the window slam below. "Well, she doesn't want me around, I can respect that. It's the least I do for her now." With one final glance over his shoulder, Chris leapt off the roof of Amy's apartment building and onto the next one over. Time to head home, he figured, if he could really call it that.

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><p><strong>Please R&amp;R.<br>**


	8. Chapter 8

**Here is another chapter, following Amy's little break down from last time. Hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT or any of its characters. Chris Nova belongs to Solaris Prime. Amy, Gage and Dr. Fogg are mine.  
><strong>

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><p>Gage's knee bounced nervously as he sat in the waiting room of Dr. Fogg's office. Typically, he would have stayed home, or even run a few errands while Amelia was visiting with the psychologist. But after the incident the other night, he figured it might be a good idea to be with her when she left the session. If nothing else, he could offer the emotional support she needed. Amy had been so distraught that night, when she claimed she'd seen her dead brother on the roof of their apartment building. Gage had never seen her like that before, hysterical and crying.<p>

He sighed heavily as he glanced over at the door Amy had disappeared behind nearly an hour before. Gage knew Dr. Fogg would be helpful, in more ways than one. Not only did the psychologist feel the need to abide by his patient's wishes to refrain from the use of medication, but he would be completely discreet with anything Amelia might tell him. Jonas Fogg had once worked for the 'new' Foot Clan, before it was discovered and disbanded, and knew the way of the ninja. He would remain silent with any information given to him, while still performing his duties as a doctor, and he knew what would doubtlessly happen to him if _any_ word leaked out. To make the situation smoother, Dr. Fogg already knew about Amy's family history, and it was simply a matter of Amy telling him the story herself once she gained complete confidence in him.

Gage could only hope this would actually help her.

* * *

><p>"I don't like any of this," Leonardo murmured as he leaned against the couch in the lair. "She's hurting and we can't do anything to help."<p>

"I just wish we could be with her," Donatello added with a frown. The turtles, Splinter and Mona Lisa were all concerned for Amy's mental health, especially after having heard from Gage what had happened the other night. Apparently, she had seen a specter of Chris again, but more vivid and terrifying to her. She'd returned to the apartment in a fit of hysterics, according to Gage.

"How much more does she have to suffer?" Mona demanded, asking the question that was on all of their minds.

"Until she can accept what has happened and learn to move forward," Master Splinter answered with his usual sage-like wisdom, though they could all tell he was saddened by the state of his daughter.

* * *

><p>Amelia stepped out from behind the door of Dr. Fogg's office and quietly shut the door behind her. Gage stood upon seeing her, a warm smile on his face. He reached for Amy and took her hand in his as they began walking from the waiting area. His fiancée seemed tense and mentally exhausted, and Gage was apprehensive about asking her how she was.<p>

"I feel better today," Amy murmured, answering the question she knew was on Gage's mind.

"Good. I'm happy to hear that," Gage answered.

"I… I told him how Chris died. I told him everything."

Now Gage's eyes widened as his brows tweaked upwards in surprise. Not only was this the first time Amy had told him what she had spoken with Dr. Fogg about—as he'd made sure to never pressure her about it—but it sounded like she'd made some real headway. She'd only briefly told Gage about her brother's death, and that was only because he'd known about the Foot Clan and the Shredder. To tell someone she'd believed didn't know about the ninja life was a big step for Amy.

"Is that why you feel better?" Gage asked cautiously. After a moment of thought, Amy nodded definitively.

"Yeah. I think so. I mean, it just feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders."

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><p><strong>Please R&amp;R.<br>**


	9. Chapter 9

**I'll be honest, I almost forgot to update today. Hahaha! But, I did it. Anyway, here's where we start getting into the really meaty part of this story. Things are not A-Okay with Amy's mind, as you shall soon see. Enjoy the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT or any of its characters. Chris Nova belongs to Solaris Prime. I have Amy and Gage.  
><strong>

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><p>"What d'ya <em>mean<em> ya don't know how it happened?" Raphael demanded over the phone, screaming into Gage's ear. Gage pulled his cell away from his head, cringing at the gruff voice. After he was sure it was safe for his eardrums again, he placed the receiver back to his ear.

"Just what I said," he answered carefully. He was pacing an empty hallway of the hospital, where Amelia had been admitted only an hour before. "She seemed fine the other day. And then the next thing I know, she's hanging off the roof of our apartment building!"

Gage was speaking in reference to the event that had occurred earlier in the evening. Amy had gone for an afternoon run, something he was accustomed to with her. After an hour or so, he'd had the idea to watch the sun set from the roof of their building and climbed up the fire escape. It was there that he had found his fiancée dangling from the ledge of the building, seeming as though she was blissfully unaware of the danger she was in. A moment later, her grip slipped and she began plummeting to the ground. It was only thanks to Gage extending his arm from the fire escape to catch her that she was still alive.

According to the hospital doctors, Amy merely had a dislocated shoulder and a few scrapes from the fall, but was in otherwise perfect physical condition. It wasn't her physical condition that they were worried about. People didn't typically hang from the ledge of a building; that was common knowledge. It was now time to either question Amelia's sanity, or consider her depression worsening.

"Did she seem to be acting strange beforehand?" Donatello asked through the phone lines. Gage could only figure that they were using a speakerphone to talk to him.

"No, that's just the thing. She seemed perfectly normal before she went for a run. When I was bringing her to the hospital, she claimed to see Chris again." He sighed heavily. "God, I know I have to help her, but hell if I know how."

"What did the psych say," Mikey asked, his voice taking on a nervous tone. He was worried—they all were.

"He wants to try electroshock."

"What?" Amelia's family demanded loudly.

"They want to _electrocute_ her?" Mikey repeated.

"Dr. Fogg thinks it might provide her with some relief, maybe lessen her depression," Gage answered.

"Right. E.C.T., electric chair—we shock who we can't save." Michelangelo's tone was a bit more sarcastic than Gage was used to.

"Look, I don't like it any more than you guys do, but this could help Amy." Gage leaned against the nearest wall and slid to the floor with another heavy sigh. "It seems like whenever she goes flying, I'm the one keeping my feet on solid ground. I was there by her side when she cried, that night when she was hysterical."

"This has taken a huge toll on you too, huh?" Mona asked carefully. It was the first time Gage had been asked about how he was handling what was going on with Amy, not that he'd expected any different. His focus was always on his fiancée, just as everyone else's was. He couldn't help but bark out a wry laugh in spite of himself.

"Mine is just a slower suicide," he muttered. "I've been here for the show, every high and every low. What matters most right now is Amy. She's been hurt so much, and I can't give up now. Makes you wonder who's the crazy one? The one who can't cope or the one who still hopes."

"So, you're going to try the E.C.T?" Leo inquired, his tone sounding as though he was trying to make sure he understood what Gage was saying.

"I think it's our best option right now. I'll call you guys when I have more information for you." Gage shut his cell phone just as one of the hospital doctors was approaching him. He quickly stood to greet the man.

"We can begin undergoing the treatment as soon as you are sure of your decision. I would recommend you talk with your fiancée and gain her consent beforehand, though," the doctor said and Gage nodded.

"Thank you." Gage quickly walked down the hallway, into Amelia's hospital room and found her staring at the ceiling. "Amy?" The young woman's glazed eyes quickly focused as they snapped to him. A moment later, they seemed dull again.

"Catch me, I'm falling," she murmured. Gage shook his head slowly as he took a seat on the edge of her bed. He took her hand in his.

"I already did, Amy. I'm not going to ever let you fall."

"Gage, what's wrong with me?"

"We're not sure, to be perfectly honest. God, Amy, I was so scared for you today. You could have died."

Amy shrugged. "What doesn't kill me doesn't kill me," she answered, causing Gage to sigh once again.

"Please, let me help you, Amy."

"How do you plan to help me?"

"Dr. Fogg wants you to try E.C.T. He thinks it will help you think more clearly. It might make your visions of Chris go away."

"He wants to _electrocute _me?" Amy asked, repeating the same question Michelangelo had asked earlier. Had it been in any other situation, Gage would have chuckled at how like her brothers Amy was.

"Only enough to trigger a reaction in your brain to get rid of these visions. Amy, it's not healthy to be hanging off the roof of a building."

"I'm not an invalid, Gage. I know it's not healthy."

"Then why were you doing it?" Gage asked pointedly. Amy glanced away, as though embarrassed.

"I-I saw Chris again. He looked so real this time, and I just… I wanted to follow him for a minute. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and I slipped over the ledge."

"That only worries me more. These sightings of him are endangering your life. Please, give Dr. Fogg's recommendation a shot. If it doesn't work, then we can stop as soon as you give the word. But… just give it a chance. Please, Amy. For your family. For me."

Amelia turned her gaze towards the window of her hospital room as silence engulfed the two of them. The lights of New York City at night were beautiful, she thought. She'd hate to lose a sight such as that to something as ridiculous as slipping off the roof of her apartment building. With a deep breath to recollect her thoughts, Amy turned to her fiancée with a reassuring smile.

"Alright," she whispered. "I'll try it."

* * *

><p><strong>So, you get to see the strain this whole thing is putting not only on Amy, but on Gage and her family. Interesting stuff coming up. And I purposely left the reasons behind Amy's "slip and fall" routine a tad on the ambiguous side. Do you guys think she actually slipped? Was it really caused because she saw a weird vision and she lost her bearings on where she was? Was she trying to join Chris in the afterlife? I leave that entirely up to you guys. ;)<strong>

**Please R&R.  
><strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello everyone. I know this week's update is a day early, and I have a reason for that. You see, tomorrow I will be moving on campus at the college I am attending, and I'm unsure when I'll be able to get my wireless all set up. So, rather than have this chapter sit around for heaven only knows how long, I thought I'd update today and get it out of the way. Besides, this is a chapter that I really enjoyed writing.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT or any of its characters. Chris Nova belongs to Solaris Prime. I have Amy and Gage.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Waking up after the electroshock treatment left Amelia in a daze as her eyelids groggily opened and the red bricks of her room came into view. Her head was swimming and she felt like she was in a daze for a moment. She slowly sat up on her mattress, resting her head in her hands when the room started spinning. She hadn't felt this bad since that fight with the Shredder up on the roofs. As Amy finally pushed herself out of bed, she could hear voices echoing from the lower level of the lair.<p>

"Dr. Fogg thought it would be best if I brought her to the place she lived in most of her life, if possible. Since it was more than possible, I thought it'd be a good idea. Besides, it would do you all some good to spend some time with her now that she's been through the treatment," a man's voice said. It was vaguely familiar to Amy, though she couldn't quite place who it belonged it.

It was as though she'd known him in a dream. But who could be in the lair that she didn't know, she wondered. As she made her way out of her room, her view came upon her four brothers, Master Splinter, Mona Lisa—where had she come from?—and a young man that looked only somewhat familiar to her. Again, it was as though she'd known him from a dream. They all looked up as she emerged from her room, and she could read the concern on all their faces.

"Amy, you should be lying down. Are you sure you're alright?" Donatello asked carefully. Amy smiled softly.

"I feel fine, Donny. I'm a little tired, but otherwise good. What happened last night? I feel like I must have gotten hit in the head pretty hard." She slid down one of the nearby pipes to the floor, holding it for an extra moment to be sure she was still steady. Why was she having such a hard time keeping her balance?

"You had your treatment this morning. Don't you remember?" Amelia's brows furrowed in confusion.

"What treatment?" she asked.

"Your treatment with Dr. Fogg. Amy, you can't tell me you don't remember what's been going on for the past few months," the familiar stranger said. Amelia now took a step back.

"Do I… know you?" Now everyone's expressions stiffened, as though she'd just said something that worried them greatly. "What's with you guys? And where's Chris? Was there a fight last night or something? Is he hurt?"

"Amy… This is Gage. He's your fiancée," Leonardo said softly, motioning towards the familiar stranger.

"My _what_?" she demanded.

Amelia looked back to the man—Gage, apparently—and took in his features. Her eyes narrowed as she studies his strong facial features, high cheek bones, dark hair and eyes. He was taller than her, though not by very much, and was dressed very casually. He was handsome, she had to admit, though he now looked saddened. As she continued to stare at him, Amelia began to understand more and more why he appeared so familiar to her. She only vaguely remembered meeting him in a back alley, when he'd stopped some Purple Dragon thugs from attacking her. That felt like a dream to her, or a dream within a dream. It didn't feel real; not like something that actually happened.

"You… you don't remember me?" Gage asked dejectedly. Amy shook her head slowly, closing her eyes as she tried to pull forth memories. For reasons she wasn't entirely sure of, it hurt her to see him looking sad.

"I-I think I do… a little. It feels like a dream, though. I don't know what's real and what's not." She groaned as a headache began pounding behind her eyes. A pair of rough, scaly hands rested on her shoulders and she looked over to see Leonardo holding her carefully.

"Don't push yourself. It's alright, Amy," he murmured.

"I feel like I should remember you, Gage. I guess I really should since you're my fiancée and all… Man, that just sounds weird to say. Who would have guessed I'd ever find someone to deal with all this weirdness?" Leo guided her to the couch and sat beside her as the rest of her family, Mona and Gage sat around her as well. "So, what's going on? Why don't I remember him? And what is this treatment that you were talking about?"

Gage sighed heavily. "It's a long story."

* * *

><p>"They <em>electrocuted<em> me?" Amelia demanded once the story had been told. Her mind was still reeling at the thought that she'd nearly fallen off a building, chasing a hallucination of Lord only knows what. But the fact that her doctor—which she was still surprised she'd even agreed to see—had thought electrocuting her was the best option to put an end to the hallucinations was even more unsettling.

"He thought it would be best in helping to stop your symptoms," Gage explained.

Amy scoffed. "Makes you wonder which is worse—the symptom or the cure. I don't remember how long we've been together, Gage. I barely remember meeting you."

"Coming up on two years."

"What?"

"In just a few months, we'll have been together for two years," Gage answered.

"Wow. Who would've guessed? So, I take it my brothers and Master Splinter gave their consent."

"After a few trials," Mikey answered with a chuckle, leaving Amelia confused still.

She didn't know anything beyond the fact that she'd gotten electroshock treatment because her mind had begun to deteriorate. No explanation was given, but she could guess it was probably due to all the fighting and trauma in her past. She didn't remember any of her time with Gage, excluding fleeting half-memories that primarily consisted of meeting him in that back alley in the middle of the day.

"So, you still haven't told me where Chris is in all of this," Amy finally said. Her brothers looked a bit uncomfortable again, but it was Raphael who spoke first this time.

"Moved outta the city," he answered.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Don elaborated quickly. "He moved out into the countryside." Amy frowned, remembering how Chris had loathed the old farmhouse they'd hid out in after Shredder's return.

"But… Chris hated the country."

Michelangelo shrugged. "Changed his mind, I guess."

"You guess? You mean he didn't tell you guys anything?"

"You were the last person to see him," Mikey answered, only to earn a smack upside the head from Raph. A frown crossed Amy's features as she processed what she'd just heard. Chris had left, she'd been the last person to see him and she didn't even remember it? What kind of sister was she? Amy groaned, this time in frustration.

"I hate not remembering anything."

"Just give it time," Mona suggested. "I'm sure it'll come back to you."

* * *

><p>Gage's hands clenched into fists as his side as he stared at Jonas Fogg. He was as frustrated as Amy that she couldn't remember their time together. He'd wanted to help her let go of Chris and put her mind at ease, not erase her mind of everything.<p>

"A little loss of memory is normal," Dr. Fogg assured him.

"I couldn't give a flying fuck what's normal. Neither of us has had a normal day in years," Gage retorted.

"Her memory is there somewhere. You and her family just have to help her remember. Keep it light at first, that's best. Be careful that's she's not distressed, and when the time's right tell the rest. As she is right now, she doesn't remember the death of Chris."

"But with nothing to remember, is there nothing left to grieve?"

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><p><strong>Please R&amp;R.<br>**


	11. Chapter 11

**So, um, yeah... sorry this chapter is late. But I have a legit reason. You see, in my dorm at college, we didn't have internet for the past week, and I only got it just now (literally five minutes ago), so that's why my update for this story is late. Anyway, enjoy the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT or any of the characters. Chris Nova belongs to Solaris Prime. Amy and Gage are mine.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Amelia stared down at her hands in frustration. She felt so helpless now. It wasn't something she was used to. When she was a child and a teenager growing up with Master Splinter and her brothers, she was always tough and fearless. She had always learned how to take care of herself, even though her brothers had a habit of stepping in to help her anyway. But that was beside the point. The point was: she was never entirely helpless. She could fight, and she <em>did<em> fight.

But now… she didn't know how to fight it, or even _what_ she was fighting. She just felt so confused, not being able to remember all of her past. What had happened in the past two years? She felt like there was still so much more she needed to remember. Or was that just what she thought because she couldn't explicitly recall two years worth of memories? Her gaze shifted from her hands to Dr. Fogg—now that she remembered who the hell he was—and he seemed to understand her frustration.

"Talk to me, Amy," he said gently. Although he knew the root of her frustration, Dr. Fogg liked for her to talk about her emotions. Amy had gathered that after her first meeting with him after the E.C.T.

"I'm just so confused, and my mind is still a mess, and what's left to be remembered is anybody's guess at this point. I don't even know what it is that I don't know!" she yelled, only to sigh in exasperation. "I'm sure something's missing; I wish it would show."

"It will come to you in time. You just need to take things slowly and allow your memories to return naturally."

"That's just it! You tell me to take it slow, and I do. But how I do, I don't even know!"

Jonas Fogg hummed in thought as he stared across the room at his flustered patient. Amelia had been coming to him for nearly a month now after her electroshock treatment. It seemed to work as far as ridding her of her hallucinations of her deceased brother, but had added to her confusion. She now felt as though she didn't know who she was anymore. Jonas knew that could be remedied with time spent with her family, but Amelia was an impatient woman. It must have been hard for her to wait like this, he knew.

"Have you been talking with your family? Or your fiancée?" he asked. Amelia nodded enthusiastically.

"Of course, I have. They've been helping me remember what happened in the past year. I met Gage when he protected me from some thugs. Of course, I was annoyed at him at first because I didn't want to be the damsel in distress, but we eventually got over that. And I finally remember our first date! I accidentally ate turtle soup! I hurled so much on the way home!" She shuddered.

Amelia could remember the time her brothers spent as human, as surreal and dream-like as that seemed. It had taken a good amount of time for those memories to return to her, but once they did, they were a shock. Who would've thought her brothers could have been turned human? At times, she still didn't believe it herself. Then Don would take out the pictures to prove it to her. She'd met Gage during that time, when her brothers were human. And he'd accepted them even after they were returned to the turtle bodies she was accustomed to. It still amazed her, really, that she'd been able to find the one man who would accept her family… and who was the one Foot Ninja to be on their side.

"Does the puzzle come together, piece by piece and row by row?"

"I don't know! I don't know where the fucking pieces go!" She sighed heavily again. "On my dresser yesterday, I found Chris' old blades. The ones that we made together. He wouldn't have just left those behind. My brothers tried telling me that Chris gave them to me, but I'm not sure I believe it. I still don't remember the last time I ever saw Chris." Jonas hummed in thought again.

"Have you and your family talked of your depression?" he asked. Amy nodded. "Your delusions?" Another nod. "And the death of your brother?" She started to nod again, but stopped short. Her eyes were wide with horror.

"What?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Dr. Fogg glanced away for the first time.

"I think you need to talk with your family."

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><p>Amy walked home alone in a daze. She couldn't believe what she'd heard from Dr. Fogg. Chris was… dead? But how could that be possible? Her brothers had told her that he moved and—she shook her head. Her brothers had obviously been lying to her. And just how much did Mona and Gage know, she wondered. Had they been lying to her this whole time as well? She sighed heavily through her teeth as she ran her hands through her hair in frustration.<p>

As she walked, she cut through Central Park and found herself following a path that felt familiar to her. Of course, she'd know the pathways of the park, having lived in the city all her life, but this felt different. Her feet seemed to be taking her through a footpath in a dream. Most of her lost memories felt like this, and she decided to follow where her body was leading her. If nothing else, it might give her more answers. When her feet finally brought her to a lone granite stone in the middle of a wooded area of the park, Amy could feel dread weighing heavily on her heart. She knelt before the stone and carefully read the inscription on the stone. A second time. A third. On the fourth time rereading the name and two dates carved into the slab, she covered her mouth to suppress a sob.

"Oh God," she whispered hoarsely. "How could I ever forget?"

Amy rested a hand on the memorial stone as images flashed through her mind. Chris had protected her from the Shredder. He'd stood before Oblivion and sacrificed his own life to save hers. All because… all because he loved her. A shudder rippled through Amy's body as she remembered his final words to her before disappearing into that terrifying void. He'd apologized to her… Of all things he could have said, he'd told her he was sorry.

And then there was the time he'd rescued her once more, just over a year ago. She'd been captured by Bishop, who'd teamed up with Stockman. It was when her brothers were still human, she remembered. Chris had come and unlocked her shackles. And he'd told her he'd missed her just as much as she missed him. And then, just when she'd asked if she'd ever see him again, he'd disappeared into the darkness. She'd wondered if he was just a phantom, but she was holding his other blade, the one that had gone into Oblivion with him. The same blades that were sitting on top of her dresser in the apartment now.

Amy could remember seeing Chris numerous times after that, and those sightings had been the reason her family had insisted she see Dr. Fogg in the first place. She'd been convinced that she was losing her mind. Perhaps she really was, and was only now remembering why again. But, God, how could she forget Chris? How could she forget how he disappeared from her life? Amy made a resolution with herself in that moment. She was going to cling to the memory of his death just as tightly as she did to the memory of when she found him alone in an alley all those years ago.

"That day that I lost you, it's as clear as the day that we met," she whispered, sobbing softly once more. "How could I ever forget it?"

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><p><strong>So, personally, I loved writing this chapter. Just, giving Amy that moment of "Oh my God" was just so much fun to work with. So... yeah... please R&amp;R.<br>**


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm SOOOO sorry for the delay in the updates. My computer needed to be repaired and I didn't have it for over a week. So, I finally got it back and Zephyr is okay again... Yes, I named my laptop. Don't judge. Anyway, here is this chapter, as well as the next.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT or any of its characters. Chris Nova belongs to Solaris Prime. All other OCs are mine.  
><strong>

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><p>"How could you? All of you?" Amelia demanded. Her brothers had been placed on the phone once she'd returned home from her trip to the park after visiting Dr. Fogg. She was furious at not only her brothers, but Master Splinter, Mona Lisa and Gage. How could they have kept Chris' death from her? How <em>dare<em> they?

"We thought it was for the best," Leonardo answered over the phone, his voice loud and clear in the speaker. Amy scoffed angrily.

"What right do any of you have in allowing me to just _forget_ about Chris? How could that _possibly_ be for the best? Huh? He died to save my life, and you were just going to let me forget that!"

"It made you distressed," Donatello reasoned.

"You mean it made me crazy, right? I started seeing him because I was grieving, like any normal human being would. But, then again, I guess normal isn't something I've ever been allowed to have, is it?"

"That's not fair, Amy?"

"That's another thing we've never had in our lives. Nothing's ever been fair! Shredder took Chris' sight from him, but it brought him to us. It wasn't fair for a child to go blind because of a power-crazed lunatic! And then Shredder tried to kill us multiple times. That's hardly fair! And then Chris died, and I was beaten to the brink of death last year, and then I went crazy and started seeing my dead brother! So, no, Don. Our lives _aren't_ fair."

"Amy," Gage began, but was stopped when his fiancé glared at him.

"And you! You seriously kept something like this from me? We're supposed to be getting married! How can that happen if I can't even trust you to tell me the truth?" she screamed. Silence permeated the room in the stillness that followed. Nobody wanted to say anything. After a moment, Gage could see tears falling from Amy's eyes as she reached out for the phone and hung up on her brothers. "How can you possibly stand me anymore?"

"What?" he asked incredulously, shocked by the turn her emotions had taken.

"How can you stand me? How can you possibly still want to marry me, after all we've been through? I've brought you so much trouble. Why not simply give in, and get on with living? Why not simply end it? We'd all comprehend it. Hell, everyone would probably say we're better off that way."

"How can you think that, Amy? I love you."

"But love only goes so far. Gage, look at all we've been through. You've had to rescue me so much from danger. And ever since Bishop captured me, I've been seeing Chris. I've been going crazy, and we all know it." She sobbed. "I'm more trouble than I'm worth." Gage crossed the room in a few quick strides and took Amelia's left hand in his. Holding it up so she could see, he pointed to the engagement ring on her finger.

"Whatever may come, we'll come through together. For year after year. That's the promise that I made the day I gave you this ring," Gage answered determinedly.

"But… if we let this go on, then you're just going to end up hating me. Or I'll hate you. And I don't want to hate you!"

"And if I were still a boy, I would've backed down. But I'm not a boy anymore. I'm a man who promised you forever. A man that said I'll never regret, or let you. A promise, I made to stay and I stay true. Amy, I swear I will never leave you."

Amelia sighed heavily once more. "I'm so messed up, though."

"I will be perfect for you. I will be by your side until the day I die. When I asked you to marry me, I swore I'd love you forever. And I'd already promised Chris I'd protect you until my dying breath. So long as you don't give up on me, I'll be with you forever."

"You can't guarantee that, Gage."

"Look into my eyes," he said sternly. Amy did so, and what she saw was determination and strength and undying love. It was the kind of thing she'd only ever seen in her brothers' and Master Splinter's eyes. Gage really did mean every word he'd said, she realized. He really wasn't going to leave her, even if she _was_ losing her mind.

"Okay," she whispered. "I believe you." Gage wrapped his arms around Amelia tightly, as if to further prove that he wasn't going anywhere. It was comforting, though only for a moment. Amy's mind quickly began swimming at the idea that treatment couldn't help her. What if, now that she remembered Chris' death again, she started seeing him again? She didn't want to put her family through that stress again, but she certainly wouldn't be able to help it if her visions returned. "But I'm so scared, Gage."

"What are you afraid of? Talk to me."

"This treatment. It made me forget, and I don't want that to happen again. I don't want the E.C.T anymore, but what else is there for me?"

"We'll figure something else out. Whatever it takes."

"But what if nothing works? Think about it, Gage. I refuse to take medication because I don't think it really helps and it lowers my senses. I don't want that. The E.C.T scrambled my brain even more. Instead of helping, it hurt. Dr. Fogg once said that at times it does hurt to be healed, but I don't think he meant it like this. And I don't want to continue that."

"Then you don't have to. We'll find something that _does_ help you."

"Gage, you're not listening to me. Something broke inside me, but what happens when the cut, the burn, the break—whatever it was—what happens if it was never in my brain, or in my blood, but in my soul?"

Gage swallowed dryly and rubbed Amy's arms comfortingly. "Then I'll do whatever I can to heal your soul. I'll give you a normal life, if that's what it takes."

Amy laughed wryly, wiping her teary eyes. "I don't need a life that's normal, Gage. I know that's way too much to ask for. But, something next to normal might not be so bad. I just… don't think I can really be okay after all I've been through."

"So, maybe we can't be okay? Doesn't matter, because maybe we're both tough, and stubborn, and we'll try anyway," Gage answered softly.

Amy couldn't help but laugh again. It was just like him to try to cheer her up like this. When he was like this, it was hard to stay mad at him, even if he _had_ kept her brother's death a secret from her. Amy didn't know how she wasn't going to heal, but she knew she wasn't going to be alone in the healing process. Everything was going to work out. She finally had hope for that. For the first time in a long time, she had hope.

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><p><strong>Please R&amp;R.<br>**


	13. Chapter 13

**And here is the final chapter in Amy's story. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT or any of its characters. Chris Nova belongs to Solaris Prime. Amy and Gage are mine.  
><strong>

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><p>It was a dark, rainy day on the two year anniversary of Amy and Gage's relationship. Not exactly the kind of weather that Amy would have liked, but she had no control over it. The only positive side to it was that it made it easier for her family to come up to visit. Less people in their apartment building would be looking out their window, meaning they'd be less likely to see the turtles, Master Splinter and Mona Lisa climbing up the fire escape. Once they'd all arrived, Amy found her mind completely occupied with being a good hostess to them.<p>

"Not much longer until the wedding," Michelangelo said with a grin. He was excited to still be planning, which surprised Amy a bit. He'd always had a fairly short attention span. Then again, he'd had so much fun with April and Casey's wedding; it was only natural he get excited of his younger sister's wedding.

"No, not at all," Amy answered with a smile.

In the two months since she'd decided to quit her treatment entirely, she seemed to have an unexplainable improvement in her mental health. She hadn't seen many visions of Chris, and those that she _did_ see she certainly didn't chase after anymore. Amy wasn't sure what to think of Chris' death—if he really _had_ died—but she'd stopped seeking him out now. It had only brought her trouble, and she wasn't a glutton for punishment. As of late, Amy had taken to mourning his disappearance from her life, now that she remembered it all again.

Gage was supportive of Amy's decision and stopped pushing her to see Dr. Fogg the moment she'd decided to stop all treatment completely. Now was the time to allow Amy to work through her emotions in her own way, especially now that she'd taken to talking to Gage about her worries. Dr. Fogg was no longer necessary so long as Amelia felt comfortable talking to her fiancée. If she was haunted by her memories or nightmares, Gage was more than willing to hold her until the tremors subsided and she was back to usual, sarcastic self.

They were on their way to a normal life—or as normal as their lives could permit.

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><p>He stared down from the roof of that all-too familiar apartment building. The fire escape was just at his feet, and his family was just outside his grasp. All he had to do was reach and he could touch them. He'd dreamt of this moment so many nights, but had never dared to act upon his dreams. And after his last meeting with her, he'd been certain he could never return. She'd been so angry at him. But, after seeing what she'd been going through with that psychologist—it still made his blood boil to think they'd electrocuted her—he just couldn't just stand by and wait any longer. It'd been three months since the E.C.T. She seemed peaceful now with her family surround her, but there'd been many a night when he'd heard her sobbing over a nightmare that featured her greatest loss. It broke his heart.<p>

With a deep breath, he stepped off the edge of the building.

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><p>Amelia gasped audibly when she saw the all-too familiar silhouette behind the drapes of her living room. Not now, she begged. She couldn't have another one of her hallucinations now, not while her family was visiting. She didn't want to worry them again. She watched in horror as her brothers turned their gaze to the window that led to the fire escape.<p>

Leonardo, who was sitting on the couch with Donatello, stared with eyes wide in disbelief. Donny's expression matched. Mikey had just emerged from the kitchen, only to stop short and give a surprised—if a bit frightened—yelp. Raphael was leaning against the wall farthest from the window and he'd reached for his sai the moment the shadow appeared behind the drapes, only to stare incredulously once the figure revealed itself fully. Mona Lisa held her head in her hands, as though she felt faint, while Master Splinter wore an expression that was crossed between surprise and sadness. Gage's hands gripped Amy's shoulders protectively, ready to protect her from this intruding stranger.

But he was no stranger at all.

"Please tell me you're all seeing this," Amy murmured as her knees began trembling beneath her. A slow nod from Donatello alerted her to the fact that this wasn't just another one of her hallucinations. This was real. Chris was standing less than ten feet away from her, soaking wet from the rain.

"Uh… hi," he said uneasily, nervously even. "I know… that this is kind of hard to believe, but-" He was stopped by a resounding slap when Amy broke free of Gage's grasp and crossed the room to bring the palm of her hand swiping across his cheek. Silence deafened the room for a tense moment while Amy stared at her once-missing brother. Chris could only stare back and wait for the reactions from everyone else. No one else got the chance to move as Amy threw her arms around her brother's neck.

"Oh my God," Mona Lisa whispered. Gage glanced at the others and quickly guessed who his fiancée was embracing with sobs racking her slight form. The man—whom he could assume was Chris—carefully wrapped his arms around Amy to return the hug.

"The medicine failed and the doctors lied," Amy sobbed, her tone bitter. Chris' arms tightened around her.

"I'm… I'm so sorry, Amy," he murmured. The young woman pulled away quickly and glared at him. Her gaze hurt him almost as much as her hand smacking his face.

"Shut up. Do you even know what I've been through?"

"I _do_ know. I've been watching over you since-" He stopped for a moment. "Since you were captured by Bishop. After seeing you like that, I couldn't bear to let it happen again."

Amy stopped what she was about to say and stared at him again. "You mean to tell me that all those times I saw you, all those times I thought I was going crazy, you were really there!" She turned to her family with an accusing look. "And none of you believed me!"

"Can you really blame us?" Leonardo asked, though it was clear he was still in shock. Master Splinter finally stood from the chair he'd been seated in and stepped forward, his paw outstretched towards Chris.

"My son," the old rat whispered as he rested his paw on Chris' cheek. "You've come home."

"I'm not ready to forgive you just yet," Amy growled. "You disappeared for over two years, and now you're back, after putting us all through a nightmare."

"By the time I came out of Oblivion, nine months had passed. And it was even longer since I'd finally gotten back to New York. I just… thought it was too late," Chris murmured. Again, he was slapped by his sister.

"You gave me those flowers last year on my birthday, didn't you? Then you must have heard me when I said we love you and wanted you home."

"But I was dead as far as you knew. I couldn't just come back and expect everything go back to normal. Especially after… especially now that you're engaged."

It was Amy's turn to stop again as her eyes widened. Chris still loved her, she realized. And he'd stayed in hiding so she could live a happy life with Gage, now that she'd finally found someone who could accept her and her family as they were. Amy covered her mouth with her hands as she took a step back. Gage quickly crossed the room and held her carefully to keep her from falling.

"You're Chris Nova, aren't you?" Amy's fiancée asked, earning a nod from her human brother. "I honestly don't know what to say to you. On one hand, you've been watching over Amy since she was a child, as far as she's told me, and you saved her life after Bishop captured her. I owe you everything for that. But, on the other hand, you're the reason she's been emotionally tortured all this time, and if you'd just shown yourself before, she wouldn't have had to through all that treatment. For that, a part of me wants to kill you, if we're being perfectly honest here."

"Gage," Amy whispered. It was clear that she'd meant her tone to be firm so she could stop her fiancée from saying anything he'd regret, but she sounded weak instead.

"I don't blame you," Chris answered. "I haven't been doing a very good job as her guardian angel, have I? I just… thought what I was doing was the better option for her. I know now that I was wrong and I'd do anything to make it right if I could." Amy stood straight once more, her gaze stronger than her voice had sounded only seconds before.

"Chris, I'm the one who held you when we found you, when you were still blind and just a scared little boy. I'm the one who cried for your sake. I'm the one who watched while you jumped into that… that _thing_, yet I still couldn't believe you were dead. What made you think it would be better to let me chase after you?"

"I'd tried to stay out of your sight, and I even tried staying away from you for a while. I thought you'd eventually just be able to move on. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Amy sighed heavily and cross her arms in front of her chest. "Just… just promise me you won't go running off like that again. And you had better be at my wedding, you got that?"

Chris released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Amy was as sarcastic as ever, and just as tough. She sounded like her old self, the way she did when they were younger and growing up together. She sounded like she hadn't gone through all this time of mental torment. She was Amelia Hamato—soon to be Turner—and she was ready to take on the world again. Chris allowed himself to smile for just a moment as he stared into his sister's eyes. He'd really missed seeing that strong, confident expression on her, and he was glad to see it back again.

Amy watched with a careful smile as the rest of her family finally approached Chris to welcome him back to the family. Raphael had punched his shoulder, asking where Chris had been hiding out all this time. Mikey had tried to tackle their long-lost brother, and Chris actually let him—just this once. Leo and Donny were overjoyed to see Chris again, both clapping a hand on his shoulder, while Master Splinter expressed his gratitude to see his son alive once again. They were already falling back into their old routine with him.

"Looks like you got your brother back, Amy. I'm sorry for everything," Gage murmured as he hugged his fiancée. She returned the embrace, but it felt empty to her.

Chris had been right; things couldn't just go back to normal now that he'd left. Hell, what _was_ normal anymore? He'd been dead for over two years, as far as their family was concerned. And he'd been the cause of all the trauma Amy had endured in the past six months or so—she'd lost track after the electroshock treatment. During the time since Chris' disappearance, Amy had come to understand just how much she'd loved him. While it wasn't the same as how he loved her, she knew it was just as strong. He was her brother, and it tore her apart when she'd thought he was dead. She'd once heard somewhere that the price of love is loss, but still we pay.

_We love anyway_.

She continued to stare at her family, her emotions guarded by the expression on her face. If Chris were to be trying to read her, he'd probably say she was taking after Leonardo for the time being. As she watched her eldest brother, she wondered briefly if he was really showing all he felt and thought about Chris' return, or if he was saving it for later. Amy was certainly saving the vast majority of what she felt for later. She simply didn't have words for it all just yet. But she would someday, and when that day came, Chris would hear it all. It was the least he owed her after all the hell she'd been through.

"I'm just happy he's back," she answered quietly without tearing her gaze from Chris. It was only a half-lie she figured. Part of her was happy he'd returned to them and that her family was whole once again.

The other part wasn't so sure.

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><p><strong>I hope you have enjoyed reading to the end of Amy's journey and her trek through insanity. Please review and let me know what you have thought of everything that has played out. Thank you for reading!<strong>


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